Over the Shoulder Shot

Well, I assume it all comes down to this. 2 years and I still procrastinate. 2 years and I still don't feel like I'm as ready as I thought I would. Going through from the beginning, I had high hopes for my films. The Wonderful Accident one was not perfect, but it was probably the least stressful (just least, not saying it wasn't) and most simplistic of my films over two years. At the time, I was convinced that my place was as a cinematographer, but I also had the urge to write. I had a great deal of fun working on that first film, and it is probably my favorite to look back on. The Coalesce film, the one that was based off of art reactions, was more stressful and I felt less proud. I made the excuse in my mind that the writing was bad because we were limited by cheesy pictures, but I have learned over the years that the conditions are never going to be right, one must work with what is presented. Overall, the film wasn't terrible because it had a clear, strong story line and fantastic acting. Editing for this film is hardly remembered and I am almost disappointed editing did not stick as my "thing" for the class, just as so many other students had their "thing." I believe next was the Portal Project. This being the film I am the least proud of. The cinematography was okay and there was no story line, just cool shots. I did enjoy collaborating with #JEWCREW, but that is the extent of this. It did teach me a lot about editing and I am satisfied with that. And then, the final film, Mamihlapinatapai.I sensed problems right off the back when my idea was trashed and the group tried to come up with an idea together. I believe this really watered down the content of our film in the long run. There was too much tension between the main players, but this wasn't a bad thing, because I know working with people you can't get along with is a component of collaborative art some times. I tried really hard with this script, especially with the dialogue, to produce something simple and honest. In the end, watching the film over again, it was exactly that. Not the process, but the end product. This project was just another test in my senior year of my leadership abilities, and in this one, I believe I failed, to some extent. When it comes to art with other people, I find it difficult to share what I produce, for fear of it being "stupid" or "not good enough." Yet, if I have learned one thing from this film class, or my time at Granite as a whole, it is to never, never let fear hold me back again. So with these films completed, along with the thousands of in-depth studies of films throughout the year, plus the multiple documentary scripts and orals, I have a lot to be proud of. Not of my own knowledge, but the mere fact that I was pushed in something, and good came out of it. I hope to produce more films in college and study media. EL FIN. Of course, never forget, "Melting flippin clocks and phallic symbols."